When we first Googled ‘crotch pot’, an Urban Dictionary definition came up – “when it is so hot outside that a girl can cook a ham in her pants”. Gross, right? Well, in a bizarre twist of events, this rather odious urban joke has become a reality thanks to minimalist hikers’ never-ending quest for a lighter, simpler set-up on the trail. Thru-hiking brand Gossamer Gear has released The Crotch Pot, a pouch for ‘cooking’ camping meals with the heat of your nether regions. Leave the camping stove at home. Ditch the heavy gas canisters. Now all your need for a hot meal is your personal anatomy. But is crotch cooking set to become a new trend in long-distance walking, or the act of a few deranged, obsessional gram counters?
Ultimately, this product is an extension to the ‘cold soaking’ trend – a ‘no cook’ process for preparing meals out on the trail that has exploded in popularity over recent years. It works like this. Rather than faffing around with fuel canisters and heavy, bulky camping stoves, you instead simply soak dry food in cold water to rehydrate your meal. Walk the PCT and you’ll see ultralight thru-hikers tucking into porridge, noodles and other backcountry gastronomic concoctions prepared in this way. But, of course, all of these meals are eaten cold – until now.
The Crotch Pot’s role is to harness the power of the crotch – that hot, sweaty, stuffy bodily void – to warm up these meals while you’re walking, thus transforming cold porridge into hot porridge and chilly noodles into a steaming ramen delight.